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Confession Fourteen Family Feud, Shady Friends |
The infamous e-mail fight to come into or family ever, it was family wide, and would spread from my friends and family nobody was safe. It started out with my sister saying kind words to me; from there my sister was attacked, I was attacked, it was a back and forth battle, my own family threaten my life, people were saying things that just were down right vulgar and nasty. My aunt was calling me a “cum guzzler” told me to go “suck a penis” and so many very nasty and graphic things, I was pissed and I didn’t retaliate in the manner she did but I did retaliate. My other aunt or as I call her mommy dearest, She used her husbands e-mail to respond telling me how she was going to kick my ass, and that I’d better go to the gym and get muscles for the next time I see him ( her ) I was going to get a serious beat down. It showed how unfriendly, how crazy and how deranged my family could be. Not only did they turn there back on me, but to turn there back and attack like that was just nothing I had ever dreamed of happening, it was way to much for me to handle. |
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Confession Twenty Seven The roommate |
Things after that went down hill even further; I would soon come to realize that he wanted a move in boyfriend, not a roommate. When I was not going to give him what he wanted, that is when it really hit the fan. When I got home he had a locksmith there changing the locks, I went up to him and asked him, “Being that your changing the locks (which is pointless because he had already taken my key) I asked was he going to be home today”. Only reason I even asked was so after my appointment I would be able to get into the house, I just wanted to make sure I was able to get the rest of my things. Oh, it was as if I called his mother a slut puppy who was going to hell for his sins, He blew up and became extremely angry, saying it’s his house, he does not tell me when he is going to be home, I tell him when I am gong to be there, and he wanted me out. |
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Confession Six A Life Unwanted |
I mean I remember drooling and being out of it at my job, yet they didn’t notice aside of me shacking saying I was nervous or being sacred. I think they didn’t care, as long as I was gone I wasn’t there problem. The bus driver didn’t notice it, a passenger on the bus didn’t notice it, the person I bought the train ticket from didn’t notice it, not one person on the platform noticed it, and I know somebody had to see that I was not right or at least not functional. I had to take that leap onto the tracks in front of an oncoming train for somebody to notice that I was not within my right mind. That’s when people wanted to react, and then people wanted to reach out to me. I look back on that day and I seriously thought things were at there worst point, maybe somebody would have helped if I was truthful about what had really went down with me, then just maybe I wouldn’t be the way I am now. I mean I could have maybe found help in dealing with how I felt from what my aunt did, and really how I grew up. I also maybe could have got help with what I had just done trying to take my own life. |
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